


sing me to sleep

by daddyhonkkk



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, M/M, Sleeping Together, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 12:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11990115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddyhonkkk/pseuds/daddyhonkkk
Summary: It was on this night that his curly haired blonde boy was continuously tossing and turning next to him, unable to remain in the one spot. Even could hear the occasional sigh and frustrated grunt coming from next to him, as he silently hoped Isak would get comfortable eventually. He couldn’t help but feel guilty at that, he knew damn well that what Isak put up with was way worse than Even simply struggling to find a comfy spot in their bed, he knew that, but he was just so tired, and Isak just kept moving.OR Isak can't sleep so now Even can't sleep.





	sing me to sleep

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic im so sorry if this is terrible oh my god

Even loved sharing a bed with Isak – he did, after all the obstacles that they overcame in order to get to this stage in their relationship, sharing a bed with his boyfriend in _their_ flat felt like a well-deserved reward, like the odds were finally in his favour, he finally, _finally_ got what it was he so desperately wanted. He had his Isak, cuddled up next to him, holding onto him for dear life and his even breaths filled the silence around them. Sometime’s he’d even mumble softly in his sleep, causing Even to chuckle lightly next to him – careful not to wake him, still wanting to admire him in his most peaceful state.

However. Not all nights go as swimmingly as Even would like. Not all nights were calm and quiet and serene. Some nights resulted in Even feeling restive, unable to keep still, a million ideas running through his brain – each one appearing to be better than previous one, and all he wants to do is to get up do something, _anything_ , his limbs refusing to keep motionless and his words refusing to come out at a normal pace. And sometimes, when Isak tries to calm him down, Even will get annoyed, irritated, _baffled_ as to why his boyfriend can’t see how elated he feels and how fantastic everything is and all things they could do at 4:37am, even if they are running low on sleep. He doesn’t even feel tired, he explains to his weary boyfriend; in fact he doesn’t think he could fall asleep if he tried. The adrenaline was running through his body and every emotion felt heightened, and he could accomplish anything he set his mind to, if Isak would just _get up_ and join him.

Other times all he would do is sleep. His body would feel numb, and he’d struggle to remember how it felt to feel all the excitement he had felt previously, when now all he felt was cold. Even when Isak covered him in all the blankets he could want, even when he touched him gently by stroking his eyebrows and his cheekbones and just _his skin_ , trying to get Even to feel again. He’d distantly hear Isak whisper sweet nothings in his ear, and when his body decided to feel, the overbearing emotion of guilt flooded him.

These nights faded into days, weeks, and they were full of silent tears and uncomfortable silences. Even didn’t like those nights.

This night, however, weren’t like any of these, _thank god_ – in fact, Even hadn’t had an episode in a couple of months now, and things were fine. He took his meds and saw his therapist and enjoyed the comfort of his beautiful, understanding and amazing curly haired blonde boy who was there for him all the time.

It was on this night that his curly haired blonde boy was continuously tossing and turning next to him, unable to remain in the one spot. Even could hear the occasional sigh and frustrated grunt coming from next to him, as he silently hoped Isak would get comfortable eventually. He couldn’t help but feel guilty at that, he knew damn well that what Isak put up with was way worse than Even simply struggling to find a comfy spot in their bed, he knew that, but he was just so _tired,_ and Isak just kept _moving_.

After his frustrations passed, he couldn’t help but pity the boy. He knew Isak had problems with sleeping; he took his own meds for his insomnia but insisted they were “fucking useless”, yet he took them anyway. He knew that when he had just met Isak, he was running on little to no sleep, and Even was confused as to how not many people had taken in his appearance at the time and not shown some concern; from where Even usually stood, across the hallways in school or a far enough distance to remain unnoticed, he could see the growing bags under Isak’s eyes. When he later mentioned this to Isak, he chuckled, explaining that Jonas was worried at the time and continuously reassured him that he “could talk to him anytime,” that he was “always there for him.” This made Even warm up to Jonas even more, if at all possible, suddenly grateful that at least someone was looking out for his boy when he couldn’t, too busy pining from a distance.

Even’s brows furrowed as he kept his eyes shut, trying so hard to get some sleep, whilst trying to remember the last time Isak’s got this restless during the night. He couldn’t pin-point the exact time but he knew it wasn’t recently, which then makes his body fill up with worry.

Was he okay? Had something happened? He knew Isak struggled to sleep especially when something bad happened, simply too many thoughts rummaging through his brain. Had something happened with his mother? _No_ , he thought, that couldn’t be it. He finally grew a relationship with his mother, after years of little to no contact, Even watched as Isak and his mother _finally_ bonded and rekindled their relationship, and he visited her in the facility she stayed at, sometimes with Even joining his boyfriend to visit too. And plus, Isak always told him any updates regarding his mother and her mental health, how she was, how she was feeling, what the doctors said of her current state. And she _was_ doing better, they rarely got bad news from the facility, but whenever they did, Isak told Even immediately and they dealt with it together.

Had his father been in contact? Whilst Isak and his mother managed to form a relationship, Isak and his Dad didn’t, and Isak only ever responded to his father’s texts if he absolutely had to. But still, Even thought, he usually tells him whenever he gets his unwanted texts. He doesn’t go into too much detail about it, and Even doesn’t push the subject, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, but still, Isak usually mentions it, and he hadn’t uttered a word about his Dad in weeks.

Isak let out an irritated grunt once again, loudly turning over to his side, his back to Even. Even opened his eyes, now accepting that he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon, and with Isak facing away from him, he let his eyes roam over the small freckles that decorated the pale skin on Isak’s back, not being able to resist reaching to stroke them and connecting the dots. Isak remained quiet as Even hand gently stroked his skin, but Even could’ve sworn he had heard his breath hitch.

Even swallows before whispering into the dead night; “Isak?”

No response. Isak can’t be pretending to be sleeping, it’s pretty clear that isn’t going to happen anytime soon, so Even decides he simply doesn’t want to talk. That’s okay, he thinks, he won’t pry.

Then, Isak is very still, and stays like that. Even counts in his head, counting the seconds away as the boy next to him quietly sighs and finally stays still for the longest time that night. (46 seconds)

Before he turns again, now facing Even. He mutters something under his breath, something Even doesn’t quite catch, but knowing Isak, it was probably something along the lines of:  “fuck”, “fucking hell”, or “for fucks sake.”

This continues throughout the night. Even continues to count the seconds it takes for Isak to move into a new position, his restlessness preventing Even from even _thinking_ about getting sleep. (35 seconds, then 20, then 28, then 42, he thinks we’re getting somewhere, he’s been fairly quiet and then – nope, 17 seconds) before finally, after _eight seconds_ on his side, moving to face Even, the older boy moves as well.

Even abruptly reaches over to pull Isak toward him, pushing him to his chest and he’s pretty sure he saw his eyes widen comically in the dark. He fights the smile tugging at his lips and pushes him impossibly closer to him, trapping him in the one spot.

After a few moments of silence, Isak speaks.

“Um... Even?”

“Hm?”

“Uh... What are you doing?”

The smile Even was fighting wins, the corners of his lips lifting lazily from the feeling of Isak’s lips moving against his skin, his words nearly inaudible, however Even understood everything.

“Cuddling you”, he replied simply, “why, is that not okay?”

“No, it’s... its _fine_ ”, Isak mumbles, “but like, _why_ this close? I’m literally fucking _on_ you.” Isak laughs lightly as he whispers, only causing Even’s smile to grow.

“You don’t wanna be this close to your super hot boyfriend?” he teases, “You should feel _lucky_ you get to be this close to someone as attractive as me.”

Although he can’t see him, he just knows Isak is rolling his eyes, and the feeling of his eyelashes against Even’s skin moving slightly confirms it. “Oh my _god_ shut up. You’re the worst. Let _go of me_.”

Even’s response is simply a laugh which sounds unnecessarily loud in the silence of the night, and he feels Isak laugh along with him, causing Even to grab him and hold him even closer. “Never. You keep moving. I’m trapping you. Now sleep.”

The light atmosphere surrounding the two boy’s changes slightly and Even feels Isak stiffen under him. Fuck. Shit. Even silently curses himself for ruining the mood.

He hears Isak swallow but feels him snuggling to him, making Even let go of the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “I’m sorry,” he hears Isak whisper, so quiet he almost misses it.

Even feels his brows furrow. “Why are you apologising? It’s fine; I just want you to try get some sleep. You don’t need to apologise for anything.”

Isak nods against Even’s shoulder, and his arm moves to lie across Even’s chest and grab his waist, trying to get comfortable. “I’m still sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you up. I’m just thinking.”

Even sighs and runs a hand through Isak’s hair _. So soft_.

“Don’t apologise,” he repeats. There’s a pause of silence before he speaks again. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Even finds himself laying in silence once again, and although he’s anticipating Isak’s reply, the silence isn’t uncomfortable. It’s a nice kind of quiet. The only sounds being the breathing of two very tired boy’s and the noise from activity outside in the dark, the occasional car driving down a hushed road as the wind howls softly. Even feels himself get more drowsy when Isak speaks again.

It’s barely a whisper, but Even still hears it. “Can we talk about it tomorrow? I’m really tired.”

Even smiles and can’t stop himself from kissing his boyfriend’s forehead, his head now resting in the crook of Even’s neck. His lips gently press the skin there, and he feels Isak smile in return.

“Of course we can. I’ll be here no matter what, no matter when you want to talk. Just know that I’m here, okay?”

Isak doesn’t answer this time, simply yawns, but the nod of his head confirms that he heard it, and the way he grabs Even’s waist a little tighter confirms he appreciates it. His eyes flutter close, and Even hopes he’ll finally get the sleep that he needs.

Even’s eyes close as well, and he can’t help but feel worry at the pit of his stomach, can’t help but feel unsettled that something is bothering his baby. But when he feels Isak snuggle towards him again, no possible space between them now, his lips break into a small smile, and the feeling melts away. Whatever is bothering him, it’ll be okay, because Isak is going to talk to him and Even will do everything in his power to fix it and they’ll figure it out, _together_.

It then occurs to Even that Isak is bound to move again eventually, sure, they’re both comfy now, but they’re bound to get sweaty and too hot at some point and this was all just a terrible plan.

He tries counting the seconds again, counting the seconds the pass before Isak moves into a different position. But then the seconds turn into minutes and Even can’t keep up, his exhaustion is weighing down on him now, but he doesn’t need to count anymore anyway – Isak is sound asleep beside him, and neither of them move again until the sun rises in the morning.

 

 

 


End file.
